.Editor's Note: The complying with is the text of a letter from Expedition 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly concerning specifics of this particular mission throughout the month I've been listed here, mainly for pair of causes: the very first being that there has been quite little time to perform that kind of creating, and also the second thing is due to the fact that I'm not sure how relaxed I am actually sharing thoughts I show family and friends along with the rest of the planet.Well, certainly the planet altered today. What I claim or do is actually very small reviewed to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was actually assaulted by ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suspect. Challenging to recognize at whom to drive our rage and also worry ...I had simply completed a variety of tasks this morning, one of the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all staff members. In a personal chat following that, the flight cosmetic surgeon informed me they were actually having an extremely poor time on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He described the scenario to me as best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually thrown for a loop, at that point frightened. My very first idea was that this had not been a true chat, that I was actually still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply really did not seem achievable on this incrustation in our country. I couldn't even envision the particulars, even just before the headlines of additional damage began can be found in.Vladimir came by pretty quickly, sensing that something really severe was being actually reviewed. I waved Michael into the module at the same time. They were actually also amazed and also stunned. After our company signed off, I made an effort to describe to Vladimir as well as Michael as ideal I could the prospective magnitude of the act of fear in midtown New york and at the Government. They clearly understood as well as were actually very thoughtful.I glanced at the Globe Chart on the computer system to find where over the planet our team were as well as observed that our team were happening southeast away from Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a couple of minutes. I zipped around the terminal up until I found a home window that would provide me a view of NYC and got hold of the local video camera. It took place to become a video camera, as well as I was actually looking south coming from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess an odd flower to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the metropolitan area. After going through among the news articles our team merely received, I believe our experts were actually examining NY around the moment of, or not long after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. Exactly how horrible ...I scanned the electronic camera the whole time the East Coast to the south to see if I could see any other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing at all was visible.It was actually pretty challenging to think of job after that, though we had some to carry out, however on the following orbit our company crossed the United States further southern. All 3 of us were actually functioning one or two video cameras to try to acquire sights of The big apple or Washington. There was fog over Washington, however no certain resource can be seen. Everything looked incredible coming from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't envision the terrible settings on the ground.Apart from the mental influence of our nation being actually attacked as well as countless our consumers as well as perhaps some pals being actually gotten rid of, the best mind-boggling emotion being actually where I am actually is just one of seclusion.Next time ... I suspect the fatigue as well as emotional pressure received the most effective of me. I could not stay awake and also remain to compose. Today was still difficult, yet our team started acquiring more info, plus our company had the tribute of talking straight along with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who guaranteed us that the ground teams would certainly remain to operate as well as guarantee our protection, along with the safe operation of the Station. We also learnt through our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who included that the companions in the Program are all entirely committed to continuing secure operations and support. These were never ever inquiries for me. I understand all these folks! The ground groups have been actually surprisingly supportive, very understanding of the influence of the headlines, and have actually made an effort to be as helpful as achievable. They have all been extremely professional and concentrated though I can't imagine the distraction of this particular form of headlines being available in and the thought that federal government structures might be in danger. They never missed a beat, also when transferring control centers. And a group of elderly workers and also good friends gave our company a quite in depth instruction about what was actually understood as well as what was actually being actually carried out in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was extremely valuable and type of all of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has also been actually encouraging as well as valuable, attempting to uplink news articles when our personal assets were actually unusable, and also stating kind words ...My crewmates have been actually great, as well. They understand it's been a difficult time for me and also the individuals on the ground, and also they've tried to be as also keeled and also useful as feasible. Michael also fixed me my favored Borscht soup for supper. As well as they offer me a lot of room to assume when I needed it. They are actually extremely compassionate and also certainly shocked at whoever will perform this.I understand numerous people in Washington, a lot of individuals that take a trip to DC as well as NYC, a lot of who are actually flies, that I experienced sure I would get at the very least a few items of bad news over the following couple of times. I obtained the 1st one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic during plebe summer when our company remained in the D&B with each other, and our experts possessed lots of lessons all together. I can not picture what he has to of undergone, and right now I hear that he might possess increased even further than our company may even think about through probably avoiding his plane coming from being the one to attack the White Home. What a horrible reduction, but I'm sure Chic was actually fighting bravely to the end. And rips don't move the same in space ...It is actually difficult to illustrate exactly how it experiences to become the only American completely off the earth at once including this. The sensation that I need to exist with each of you, managing this, assisting in some way, is actually overwhelming. I understand that our experts are on the threshold (or beyond) of a horrendous change in the past history of the world. Lots of traits will definitely certainly never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Certainly not just for the 1000s and also thousands of individuals straight affected through these horrendous actions of terrorism, yet probably for everybody. We will certainly locate ourselves feeling in a different way concerning dozens of things, including probably space expedition, however.It's unpleasant to observe smoke cigarettes putting from wounds in your very own country coming from such an awesome perspective. The duality of getting on a space probe dedicated to boosting everyday life on the earth and watching life being ruined through such conscious, dreadful actions is jolting to the subconscious, despite who you are. And also the know-how that every thing are going to be different than when our team introduced by the opportunity our company land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our management that we will certainly perform everything achievable to far better protect her and also our family members, and also to deliver justice for what has actually been actually performed. I have peace of mind that the great folks at NASA will do everything essential to proceed our objective safely and securely and return us properly at the correct time. And I miss every one of you very much. I can not exist along with you face to face, and also our team possess a long way to head to finish our purpose, yet be actually certain that my heart is with you, as well as know you are in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last letter ... The good news is, it is actually been an active full week up listed below. And also to verify that, like our nation, our team are actually continuing our designated path along with business customarily (as high as achievable). Tonight the current addition to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber will definitely be launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (US time), it is going to dock with our team, at a slot never ever used before on the low point side of the Company Module. This brand-new component will certainly offer our company another spot to dock a Progression or Soyuz and will offer a huge airlock with 2 useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which we are going to perform a few of before our experts get home.The issue prior to in dealing with this week was actually insufficient updates. The trouble right now is actually way too much. It came all at once when email was restored, as well as there's not nearly enough time to review all of it! Plus it is actually as well tough to handle all of it at once. Yet I enjoy acquiring it, as well as I really value the excellent letters of support and also companionship I am obtaining.Our experts are succeeding on board, getting our work done, and talking about factors. Final evening we had a long discussion over dinner about the significance of these occasions, the achievable activities to comply with, as well as what should be performed. After dinner, Michael challenged informing me that every email he acquired from close friends in Russia said specifically to tell me how sorry they were that this happened, expanding their condolences, and also inquiring how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir educated me the Russian word for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English phrases are actually a lot very long to pronounce effortlessly.) Really kind people.For the final two times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send real-time shows of radio updates about the event and affiliated accounts, to ensure I was actually properly informed. Every specialist that has come on the line to talk about a procedure or a problem has at some point extended hellos to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that as a result of the wedding of recognition in the US, all day people had been actually bringing flowers and lining all the wall structures of the United States embassy in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually lighting candles in the road outside the embassy. How the planet has actually transformed.People everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and also terror within this strike. And the significant loss. Moscow has actually taken care of these type of concerns in the last handful of years along with home and also metro bombings, so they are actually as anxious to do away with this threat as our company are actually. Yet the bottom line is that there are great individuals just about everywhere that would like to live in peace. I review that a youngster inquired, "The United States is so really good to various other countries, our company always help everyone, exactly how can they dislike our team so much?".I hope the example of teamwork as well as trust fund that this space probe plus all the people in the course demonstrate daily are going to at some point motivate the remainder of the planet to function similarly. They must!Unfortunately, our company won't be actually piloting over the US while people are igniting candlesticks. Do not recognize if we could possibly observe that anyway. We performed, however, view a quite uncommon as well as attractive view a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. We were actually surpassing it and also it came into view about 3 minutes after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our terminal, so it was still unaware. It appeared like a big comet along with a right, large tail silhouetted against the dark earth below. In spite of some bad lights for some time as the sunshine hit our home window at a low perspective, I managed some video recording of it as to begin with our experts passed the spacecraft, and after that viewed it start to catch up as it acquired elevation and also rate. I filmed up until main engine deadline and also enhancer splitting up took place equally our team approached daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in a memorable week ...Lifestyle goes on, also precede. Our company're right here to remain ... Frank.